If You Want To Save, Love First

“You cannot save people. You can only love them.” ― Anaïs Nin

It was not until a few days ago that I realized how much truth hid beneath these two simple statements. I also understood that I’ve been trying to save the people I love for as long as I can remember.

The truth is that we all have our demons. I know I have mine. But, at the same time, we know that the people we love, struggle against similar demons, and, at times we might be inclined to try to save them. After all, it’s our duty.

But the thing is, not every battle can be fought with someone holding our hand. Some battles, we are meant to fight alone, to try to conquer our fears and insecurities.

In real life, the damsel in distress can’t be saved. She may want to, and those who love her may feel the need to respond to this, but she can only be loved. Because the demons she wants to get rid off are inside her soul, so deep that no one can get in and slay them. That’s the irony of it all: only love helps her conquer her demons, at her own terms. She alone can walk into the darkest corners of her soul and get rid of what’s keeping her from truly loving herself.

You can only love people, and that is more than enough, more than anyone should ever ask for. Love gives you strength and courage, and if you use those properly, you end up loving yourself, you end up becoming the best possible version of yourself.

The thing is –

Pain demands to be felt. Love, demands to be patient. Together, they comprehend if met on the same journey. It demands your attention. You cannot soothe the pain inside you unless you understand and support it with love and care. It is only with love and patience that the process of healing of pain is completed.

Do not ignore the calling inside you. Your intuition signals you on every edge, every corner, every turn of your life. The only need is to have an open eye and an open mind.

Source – http://cristianmihai.net

Thank you for reading. Love you for that!

—–Have Hope.Keep Faith—–

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68 thoughts on “If You Want To Save, Love First

  1. Everybody, and I mean everybody, is dealing with something. Thank you for this post. Some situations can only be met head-on by the person themselves without us interfering (even though we try to help out of a sense of love and compassion). ~ Blessings, KK

  2. “Pain demands to be felt.”
    The entire piece is good. But more importantly, just the thought of helping people is incredible. Writing for me has had many different definitions so far. But the best one is to help people, make a difference, assuring that no one is alone in their individual battles. Kudos for the mission! Do keep it up.

  3. Even if we cannot love perfectly, we can try to stop judging another person’s situation or life and let them grow and develop at their own pace.

  4. Very insightful. Your third paragraph reminds me of the story of the little boy who wanted to help the caterpillar and used a scissor to cut the cocoon as it was leaving as a butterfly. His mother explained that the struggle to get out was what made the transformation into a butterfly complete.

  5. “You cannot soothe the pain inside you unless you understand and support it with love and care.”- I choose it as my inspirational quote from today. Thank you.

  6. This is so well written and the illustration fits perfectly, did you create it (the illustration)?
    Also the quote by Anaïs Nin rings home to me. I also had this “messiah complex” (it’s actually a thing, I just called it that in a funny way) about saving the people I loved until I realized I can’t. I cannot even change them. It felt like a huge relief though, letting go of the idea that I was somehow responsible for their struggles…. But loving and supporting my loved ones helps them to grow and heal as they are helping me to grow and heal with their support and love vice versa. 💜

    1. I understand your thoughts because I used to do the same. It’s relieving to realize certain things that set our mind free and at the same time keep our heart happy.

      Thank you for reading and yes, that’s my art. I like to keep my blog authentic. ❤✨


      1. That makes it even more beautiful. How you arranged the shapes to build such a harmonic structure is astounding.

  7. I had mentioned that when I arrived in Utah during the summer of 2016, the VA put me up at the men’s homeless shelter, downtown Salt Lake City for a month until my apartment came through in August.
    While there I came across my grand niece who had fallen wayward into drugs when her boyfriend went to jail. She was a mess and didn’t even care if she lived. Of course she didn’t recognize me because she was so young the last time her folks and we were together (10 years ago…she’s 26 now).
    Dazed and leaning against a fence, I approached her and offered her water from my bottle. She said no thanks, and I said ‘drink the water, it’s special’.
    I’m not saying that some power flowed through my hands and the bottle, but when she drank from it, her eyes cleared and she stood erect, saying that it was the best water she had ever drank. I continued praying for her and looking for her daily, sometimes finding her and giving her more water. After a week she started talking with me and learned who I was. Her mother is my sisters daughter.
    Within a month she quit the drugs and rekindled her relationship with her parents, and is now back in college. I’m actually going to have lunch with her tomorrow when she finishes classes, as her parents live 350 miles away in Wyoming. In the Gospel of John (4: 4-26) Christ offers the Samaritan woman water, and it has always been a special set of verses for me. It was the only thing in my mind when I 1st offered her the water, and in my heart I felt it was the ‘living water’ I was sharing with her.
    Not everyone has the water that might save someone, and I agree it is not our place to do so either.
    Which is why, good or bad, we should never withhold our love from them.
    I don’t know if you have a million followers yet, but I think everyone you touch, shares that touch in some way with someone else. You are wonderfully special. Thank you.

    1. This is something I can totally connect with. I went through a similar situation and my brother helped me through it, so I can completely relate to what you’ve said.

      I believe the “power water” story. It indeed was that. When your heart is pure and full of love, the people feel it too. There is this connection that I’d felt instantly. In my case it was a simple hug from my brother and I must say it worked wonders for me.

      My best regards to your niece and her family. God bless you! You’re a kind and amazing man. I wish we could meet or chat, there’s so much to learn from you.

      Thank you so much once again because I know for certain now that I’m not alone. People have been through similar phases as mine. Thank you for sharing your peice.

      Love and Hugs,

      1. Oh my goodness. You do flatter me, but I have weird dreams that Hemingway chuckles every now and again with some of my sentences.
        My story 2012 is 112 pages long now, with me probably writing another tonight.
        Our notes and messages aren’t writing, they’re nonfiction shared between people; as I find you the most enjoyable to visit with.
        Perhaps it’s the smile and greeting you share in your picture, but I find myself looking for it every day too.
        I’m very excited because I’ve been working for 4 1/2 weeks now, and today was the first day I played guitar since Feb. My grand niece bought some smoked turkey luncheon meat and swiss cheese, and we made sandwiches for the men’s shelter today. I took a case of water and a case of greek yogurt and almost a bushel of grapes.
        There were only two sandwiched left when it was time for me to head home, and it has been the most perfect of days.
        What else do you get to do? Working, studying, writing, and your artwork. Does it take a few days sometimes? And we shouldn’t meet, my infatuation with you would show through too well.

      2. Wow. I’m amazed. I surely would love to buy a copy when you finish writing.
        I’m sure you don’t have to worry about who chuckles (Lol)
        I’m positive that it’ll be worth reading! ❤
        And funnily enough, I ate almost a whole bunch of grapes today while finishing my homework assignments.
        I’m happy that you’ve played your guitar after so long, looks like you’re fond of it. Keep making some happy tunes! I like to play guitar when I’m bored or just want some mood lifting! I’m not a professional, I just play some strings and many times don’t even make sense. It just helps me keep sane.
        And yes I’m an engineer. Currently enrolled for a course at Harvard. Hopefully achieve something and make my parents happy. I hardly get any time apart from what I do. So I just keep myself happy in these little things. Life gets difficult sometimes being alone and doing things on my own but I’m surely learning and improving.

        Lol you got me at that last sentence! Hahaha.. I hope so….

        Anyway, have a happy weekend Philip! ❤ Keep smiling 😊

      3. I just play some strings and many times don’t even make sense. It just helps me keep sane. Cool, we’re like twins.

        This is my therapy as well. In ’98 I divorced from Sandy Beach, and had to learn how to handle two restless hours with nothing to do. I bought a guitar for my Christmas 1999, and have played it daily ever since.
        Well not when I was homeless in 2010 or for the two years I was in transitional housing with the other vets, because they hated it. But from 2012 on at least.

        2,093.13 miles. That our straight line distance, probably 7 hours of flight time unless there’s a layover in Chicago.
        Yet a better idea is a Chicago rendezvous. A visit to the blues clubs on the south side. I loved living in Chicago during the 80’s, perhaps the only time I didn’t have my children with me. Besides, it’s an adults city anyway.
        Engineer, wow. You must be super smart to go with that super talent. Plus, that might actually be the most expensive school in America. You are still single aren’t you? Or have your parents planned that as well?

        So blogging for us is like having pen pals huh. Does your mother think you’re a philosopher? I’m sure you’re dad does. Is he an engineer?
        Lastly, what year are you in, and are you staying till you get your Doctorates?
        Are your parents wealthy? They could meet us at the Drake Hotel, once the epitome of classic American luxury. I only stayed there for a couple of weeks, but no other Hotel held my interests like they did.
        Okay, I know you’ve got to study, and draw, and write. But I’ll be thinking of you, and what wisdom you might be preparing for us later this week.

      4. That’s a long flight journey!
        Yes I had some test preparations I was studying for..you guessed that right.

        I don’t know about wealthy, I got a scholarship otherwise there’s no way we could afford this college. I’m the youngest one for this course so the professors are also impressed by what I do.

        I don’t write just to write. It heals and soothes me. I may be an engineer because I wanted to be like my father (yes he’s also an engineer) but I guess I’ve always wanted to be a life coach or a business woman. I hope it’ll fall into place in the near future. I know I’ll work toward it.

        My mom thinks I’ve got what it takes to get me there. Lol. Yes she thinks of me as some kind of philosopher I suppose. I’ll surely think about the hotel you mentioned. It sounds like a good time to have. Since I opted for distance education I travel back and forth to the States. I’ll be there next month and continue 4 more months.

        You’ve managed those crucial years of your life like a hero! It takes a strong person and a loving heart to go through what you’ve been.

        Feels good to know. It motivates me to keep fighting. Hahah..

        Yes I’m still single lol. Pin pointed that correctly. You’re good.
        I’ll be updating my blog post now. It’s based on what I’ve been through and how I found some light through it.

  8. What a lovely post Ashwarya. Just came across your blog. Deeply touched to see your posts and your art. It is very profound. So glad I came across your blog.

  9. This meant me so much, thanks alot Aish..!! The post is really the one I needed right now, right at this moment…!! Saved my day…my relationship…thanks alot

    1. Your comment made me smile. I’m glad this writing could help. Wish you the best in your relationship! ❤ choose your heart to be happy no matter how difficult the situation becomes..

  10. Yes! Lovely. You nailed the point. I often say, take your crutch away from your loved one. They have 2 legs of their own and will not walk on them until you let them. It’s sooooo…. hard some times to let that happen. You can see them walking ahead of you, and you can see the steep hills before them. Love is all is needed. Thank you for this blog. It is a beautifully sung note in the dark.

  11. Sometimes pain is rooted so deeply, you can’t feel love. You end up hurting the one who loves you because you can’t reciprocate their love: all you know is pain; it becomes like a prison of the self. The real victim becomes the ones who loves you: they’ll stick with you; but in the face of unbearable pain, it won’t be enough, and they end up feeling impotent, inadequate, useless.

  12. Not just worthy to read but to live this thought to apprehend way of life to get closer to the harmony…cannot imagine an enlightened soul full of love would differentiate between good…bad, light…darkness, angel and demon…love is like a neutron…the one at the center holding all shady and colorful aspects of life.
    And the picture is a fine justice to this beautiful thought…Clap!!

  13. What beautiful and insightful words! I agree with your message, for I have lived it. I know you have visited summoningmagic.com, so you know I have only survived what I’ve been through because of the love I have received.
    “Pain demands to be felt. Love, demands to be patient.”
    This is truth. I am NOT a patient person and often berate myself for still feeling so much pain. But it does have to be felt, and when it strikes deep, it takes longer than we want for love to seep in and fill in the cracks.

    I’m glad you liked my post and I found you! 🙂

  14. What a beautiful post. It’s hard to step back and let people do their own thing when you can see from the outside what makes them unhappy. But like you said in a roundabout way, lessons are learned internally, and we all make our own choices sometimes for reasons that we aren’t quite aware of, and in the end, every move we make serves us. ❤ Thank you.

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