This One Question…

We all share the same set of wishes. We also have similar wants, dreams, and desires. We want to feel good. Live an effortless life while having well-paid jobs, awesome relationships, incredible personal life, amazing bodies and to be at the center of everyone’s attention. We want to own the world. We truly would like that – as it is easy to like that. It also so pervasive that it doesn’t even mean anything.

What sets us apart then? I think not so much what we want to have and rather who we are as individuals in the commitment to our values for which we are willing to struggle. Our conviction around only experiencing positive things – as “positive” is pretty and easy to handle – makes us avoid at all cost being disturbed by the “negative”. Therefore, mostly what we get out of life is how much distress we are willing to handle them to get through. Because we want the reward, not the struggle, we want the result, not the process. We are in love with the victory, not the battle.

The entitlement impulse and the need for instantaneous gratification constantly convince us to want more, faster, and now. We blind ourselves with the most sophisticated reasons why we deserve things in life and why we ought to have them. Moreover, we boost our self-esteem justification when we fail to obtain them. A simple statement as “I want” seems to warrant the delivery of the desired results. And, when we finally get to realize (if at all) that we are executing a wrong recipe for life, we start our most favorite blame game. We blame our childhood, we blame our parents, and we even blame the political and religious system. We fight and ruin relationships with our loved ones and even ourselves without even knowing it. It’s involuntary and takes a great amount of mental strength to understand the core problems within us. The last people we get to evaluate are ourselves. Because we are perfect and want enough and it has not been given to us! Really?

Wanting to have a well-paid job does not equal wanting to work long hours, days and weeks. Wanting to have an awesome relationship does not equal going through tough conversations, emotional turbulence, and hurt feelings. Wanting to have an amazing physique does not equal physical effort that comes with living inside a gym. Wanting to run own business and be financially independent does not equal embracing risk, uncertainty, and failure.

Who we are is truly defined by the core values for which we are willing to battle. Those who enjoy the struggles of a gym are the ones who get to be fit. Others who work long workweeks and the politics of the corporate ladder are the ones who end up moving up in their careers. People who don’t mind the strains and uncertainty of an artist lifestyle are ultimately the ones who live it and make it. So, if you want the benefits of something in life, you must also want to pay the price.

It is an illusion to think we can have a pain-free life. LIFE IS PAIN. NO HUMAN IS PERFECT. NOT EVEN YOU. In order to get to where we think we want to be, we must be willing to answer the most significant question- what is that we are willing to suffer for……? WE ONLY NEED SOMETHING OR SOMEONE IN LIFE WORTH SUFFERING FOR. The answer to the above question can change our lives. Fantasizing about wanting something does not make that desire a reality. It is like a dream about a hike and climb to the top of the mountain – we all like to imagine being at the top yet not so much the climb itself.

Success and failure don’t exist without each other. Failure and struggle clarify the meaning of what we truly want, because each letdown takes us deeper to the core of our own humanness. It puts us through harshness and sharp edges of the circumstances. It teaches us to withhold and to withstand the uneasiness that comes with them but only when we are truly dedicated to the desired outcome and prepared to reinvent ourselves on the path to meet our true desires.

Although different points of view in our society can scrutinize us for “quitting” and “giving up”; self-help view may criticize for not being courageous and determined enough; and commercial crowd for dismissing our dream under the pressure of social conditioning – the omnipresent truth is – we thought we wanted something and it turned out that we didn’t. End of story.

When you find yourself wanting something month after month or year after year, yet nothing happens and you haven’t gotten any closer to it, then maybe try changing your core intentions altogether. Change is inevitable and the most important part of life. Perhaps what you want is your true desire, your calling, and you are stuck just enjoying wanting it. Maybe you never did anything in the “right way” at all. There’s a saying that goes – you may be struggling for 10 years straight and on the 11th year receive the fruits for your success. The power of not giving up is magnificent. And this goes in saying in life, love, wellness and being.

This is the simplest element of life: our struggle shapes our success.
So choose your struggles wisely as you jump into another wishful project.

I would like to hear from you. Your observations are immensely valuable. Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Thank you for reading. Love you for that!

—–Have Hope.Keep Faith—–

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28 thoughts on “This One Question…

  1. I have found that, even if there is no physical struggle involved, there is its mental counterpart-in many areas of life. Because of the diversity of people, someone will always approve of what I do and someone else will always find fault with it. I am always willing to wait for something, because good things take time to arrange and it’s better to not get a reward for which I have worked and which has not been thrown together, slap dash.

  2. The quality of writing and the organization of thoughts throughout is propf enough of how much effort has really gome into writing this, knowimgly or unknowingly. Every word true, every reference real. A fabulous post, am going to bookmark it somewhere forever. It’s not everyday that I agree with every single word written by someone else. Thank you for these wonderful few minutes. Made me feel fresh at 4 in the morming.

  3. Here again Aishwarya, You have told the essence of Life. Keep going, if delayed, change the path or action towards the Goal. Life is really Beautiful. Get inspirations from outside but the path you choose for your Goal is and should be of your own, and you should follow it yourself without hesitation and with confidence.EXCELLENT WRITE-UP Aishwarya. Keep writing. Great Job.

  4. Consider this quote:

    “I’ve experienced the highest of highs and lowest of lows. I think to really appreciate anything you have to be at both ends of the spectrum.” John Elway

    If what we strive for is a life carved from the middle, we rob ourselves of the full range of experiences and feelings life has to offer.

  5. Ha..
    That’s exactly what I’m looking at in the repetitive astrology chart.
    T-Squares.. I have one that angles off into a grand trine and looking at the meaning.

  6. In this I can recognize specific times in my life: when I wanted “the” job/relationship/body/social life, and then as those suddenly became questionable, the time when I needed something to blame – upbringing, my parents, my health, my religion, my field of study. And now I think I’m truly moving into a place where I’m (more often at least) valuing my health first, the connections I have and am growing, cool breezes and warm sunrises, and feeling emotions as they come. It’s definitely different. And I have no idea what the next six months hold, much less years. I’m trying to put blocks of time in my days where I don’t schedule anything specific, but simply do what I’m pulled toward at the time so I can practice my intuition and see what projects I actually want to accomplish.

  7. It’s so funny that I found your blog this morning, when I was feeling this way just yesterday after going for a run and not doing as well as I would have liked. I talked about quitting things in the past. And perhaps you are right. If we don’t like the pain and struggle that comes with it – or rather, can’t bear with it – then maybe we need to change our goals? There’s nothing wrong with change. But as human beings we have been conditioned to be static. I’ve always changed my life goals and have always felt like a failure for it. But why? Change itself is not failure. Thanks for sharing your perspective. Gave me a new way to view things.

  8. Favorite line from the post: “It is like a dream about a hike and climb to the top of the mountain – we all like to imagine being at the top yet not so much the climb itself.” This reminds me of the song “The Climb.” In one line, the singer says, “Ain’t about how fast I get there / Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side / It’s the climb.”

    You’re right; it is so easy to just express the want and draw about the goal, and much harder to put in the work toward achieving it. Your examples of fitness, healthy relationships, and financial stability are spot on. In an age when we want our children to have the best and easiest lives, I find that a generation that expects entitled, instant gratification has arisen.

    What are you willing to struggle for? That is a great life question. I’ve been reading the memoir of Richard Wurmbrand lately, and one statement in his book stuck out to me: “A man really believes not what we recited in his creed, but only the things he is ready to die for.” Adapted to your message, this quote might say, “A man really wants not what he dreams about, but only the things he will struggle for.”

    For the seed to grow into a plant, does a farmer not have to water, weed, prune, and fertilize the sprout? It is not enough to plant the seed – the dream, the want – and wall away. It will not flourish, or an animal will find it, or it be trampled upon.

    Thank you for the inspiration to keep on climbing, Aishwarya.

  9. I was thinking something similar recently in regards to passions. I thought naively that guitar was my passion (which I do love despite what I am about to say). But what I realized when I started going to college for Philosophy was that passions are something that you will do whatever challenges might come in your way. So when I took a class in music theory, I was not able to work through it. It was too difficult for me and I dropped the class. Now, I am studying philosophy, and even though it is very difficult at times, I still love to do it. In fact, it is the challenge and difficulties that make it so enjoyable and fulfilling. Long story short, I agree with you. It is journey not the end result. Though the end result is the motivator, it is the battle, as you say, that makes it worth it. And in some ways, the battle is the thing that one is after.

  10. Every personal struggle shaped me to become the person I fell in love with. This was a good piece to remind me continued growth makes me feel even more comfortable in my skin. Thx!

  11. Good emphasis on the struggle. So many people talk about what they WANT – say, they WANT to be a writer – but then the don’t DO what is needed to be one (this is where we get wannabe’s, isn’t it?) People lately seem to have an overwhelming desire to be KNOWN, but do they want to be KNOWN as a WANNABE? If they don’t work at it, that’s what they’ll be.
    Thanx for the post!

  12. Thorough, thought out points. Takes self-centeredness completely out of the equation, thank God. Thank you for visiting my blog, too.

  13. I enjoyed reading One Question. Too many people are not willing to make the struggle and think they deserve what they want without working for it. I wanted to get published and worked for it, so now I have ten books published. Carolyn Rae

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