The way I actually feel right now is completely off-balance. The only thing I’ll say is that I told someone about the topic I was posting on for today, and their question was, “That’s cool, but what’s the point of trying to figure this out?” While researching, I came across this quote by Parfit:
“The early Buddhist/Mahavir view is that – much or most of the misery of human life resulted from the false view of self.”
I think that’s probably very true, and that’s the point of thinking about this topic.
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So here we go…
When you say the word “me,” you probably feel pretty clear about what that means. It’s one of the things you’re clearest on in the whole world—something you’ve understood since you were a year old.
You might be working on the question, “Who am I?” but what you’re figuring out is the who am part of the question—the I part is obvious. It’s just you. Easy.
But when you stop and actually think about it for a minute—about what “me” really boils down to at its core—things start to get pretty weird.
So, let’s be clear on this, you will never be someone you are not supposed to be. You may wonder why my life is like this, when in fact, flaws in all, you have the power to make your life the best it can be. All the past experiences and memories made have shaped your life. The thought may linger that it is for the better or the worse. But eventually, you make things happen if you want them to.
Just gaze your eyes upon your surroundings, you’ll realize that everything happens for a reason. You cannot depend on other people for your happiness, for they will leave you helpless if you have those expectations of them. Therefore, you must want happiness for yourself before anyone will want it for you.
So, How Do You Do That?
“If you want to dress a certain way, live your life a certain way, act a certain way, then own it. You need to live up to the person you put out there. You do this by accepting who you are.”
So, what is the best version of yourself? Because you need to be that person. People have a tendency to influence your opinions, actions or thoughts. However, you only have yourself at the end of the day and live with the consequences of your own actions.
So, taking ownership of who you are is something you need to wear with pride.
Many of us go through life wondering about the “what ifs.” The truth is that people will always be prettier, nicer or have a better life than you. But there will never be a person like yourself. You may meet people similar to you during your life, but in the end, you are unique. Be someone you strive to become, a person that other people would want to meet and be around with.
Stop Negative Self-Talk
When you’ve accepted for who you are, it’s time to put in conscious effort to stop negative self-talk. Don’t be ashamed about it, because this is something that we all struggle with; we all think down on ourselves when we don’t accept who we are. Think back and ask yourself how many times someone has given you a compliment and you’ve shrugged it off.
When someone compliments you, reflect on the experience. It’s okay to be humble and that’s a wonderful trait to have but learn to appreciate your own hard work and efforts — especially when others are noticing it as well. Make a mental note of how well-appreciated it was and what you did to achieve that goal. Eventually, when you’re working on other things, you’ll have a boost in your self-confidence.
The thing is if you are not happy with yourself, people won’t be wanting to get to know you. People have a habit of picking small tendencies about you before you even know it. So, when you are not happy being you, others will start to notice.
No One Else’s Opinion Really Matter
Surely, you’ve met and you’re going to meet people who will knock you down. Sometimes, they are good people, and sometimes they aren’t. Sometimes, they are angry and quick to judge, or sometimes you just caught them on a bad day. Sometimes, they just suck at that moment, and you were an unfortunate bystander.
No matter what, they will take it out on you, they will tell you that you aren’t good enough and tear you down.
We get caught up in others’ opinions of ourselves too often. As a result, we adjust ourselves and hide personality traits we think may cause others to laugh at us. So, the idea of “owning it” comes back. Why should you care what other people think? Are they you? Are they living your life? No!
Believe me, other people have their own personality traits and talents to worry about.
Get Serious About Your Goals
Once you know who you are and what you want to be, it’s time to set goals for yourself and take serious steps to get to them.
If you want to become a writer, then start writing. Search and reach out to support groups and people who can help give you ideas and edit your work. If you want to pursue higher education, then start thinking about your career path, your interests and personality traits, and make smart choices on the classes you take and how they can help you to reach your goal.
What it all comes down to is that in order to embrace what makes you who you are, you have to be proactive. I often hear the phrase, “You don’t have to do anything,” being thrown around. That’s only applicable if you have no goals in life. If you do have goals, then you “must” make certain proactive decisions and get started.
So, figure out where you want to go in life, and take steps toward achieving that. Find a way to make all of your personality traits, quirks, interests and hobbies work together. Start developing your personal brand, become an industry expert, be honest and true to yourself. Don’t let life pass you by with you trying to be someone you are not. You may work towards having better traits, but that comes with time.
What You Can Do Now?
For each person, regardless of you’re a leader, manager, worker, or student, having a continuous willingness to be vulnerable is the fundamental difference between staying stuck in today and leaping into tomorrow.
When there are no guarantees, we must be willing to act decisively and confidently by sometimes depending on others for our success, saying “I don’t know” or “I’m scared.”
Start going where you have never gone before, and create the space for others to do the same.
Feel free to ask any questions or share your ideas in the comment section below. Alternately, I’d really appreciate for you to share this content on your social media platform if you found it useful so that others can benefit from it too. If you have any doubts or want a personal clarification, send me an email on eclipsedwords@gmail.com. For more inspiration, fun, and smiles, follow me on Instagram
Happy Blogging! ♥♥♥
Thank you for reading. Love you for that! ♥
—–Have Hope. Keep Faith—–
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ECLIPSEDWORDS BY AISHWARYA SHAH | JANUARY’2019 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ©
Great post..well written..kudos:)
Enjoyed this as always! Happy Blogging! Peace and blessings!
Its so true. We can spend a lifetime blaming others but its only when we own our own part that we really make progress. Its just hard in a world where you are conditioned to give yourself away. There are so many mixed messages out there.
Enjoyed dis !!
Strong piece this is !!
Very insightful as always.
It’ll take a lot of strength but it’s worth a shot!
lovely post.
Well written and explained you are inspiring me to write more
Its quite easy to say that Other’s opinion doesn’t matter, but sometime its quite hard to ignore those opinions.
Great write-up! Well written an something that caught my eye and needed to hear. Thank you!