Forget Yourself To Find Yourself

People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates. — Thomas Szasz

I knew something was off. Caught in the midst of a busy mindset, family responsibilities and “life happening,” I was drifting away from the woman I had become. Maybe you’ve been there too. This is what happens when we forget the progress we’ve made. Let’s face it — if you’re looking to take big steps in your life, you have to have a memory. To move forward, you want to know where you’ve been, so you can get to your destination.

You’re looking to consolidate your gains. Only a crazy person would invest time, energy — true sweat equity — into something only to abandon it for no good reason. I’d come so far in getting into a daily regimen of writing, being a full-time business student and on my way to becoming a certified coach, working toward my first startup and moving forward toward publishing my first book. (too many things, right?) Then, family and financial duties called. Not to forget my medical situation too. Next thing I knew, I was in the vicious cycle of life.

When you’re there, you realize that like a hamster on a wheel, it’s hard to slow down. We tend to rely exclusively on the left side of our brains, with little regard for the creativity, imagination, and gifts of wonder that illuminate our thoughts and dreams. In other words — we’re focused on process and tasks, not what we love.

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The 4 Phases

When you’re not doing what you love — what God put you here to do — your life is not in rhythm. What should be easy becomes difficult. For most of us, the biggest challenge in our personal development is finding — then doing that thing we’re meant to do.

But know that once you get there, it’s about staying there and locking in what you’ve already learned — what you’ve already done. See, progress is multi-faceted. For one thing, it’s spiritual. How? We come to peace of mind with our place in the universe and how the pieces in our lives connect. A great example of this is our acceptance of our place in life. No matter how much we may yearn to reach our dream, we have to know that there’s a time and place for everything.

Spiritually, we have to accept that the plans of the universe are often not what we envision in our minds. You may want to become the next CEO of a breakthrough mobile app company, but it may not be your time yet. You may not be ready, even though you think you are. That doesn’t mean you quit and adopt a bad attitude. It means you keep going but accept your place at that time.

Mentally, if we’re paying close attention and living our life by a code of values, we know when we’ve made strides. We know because if we’re smart, we’ve made plans and we’re working on them every day. We’re working through adversity, distractions, and successes. Mentally, our cognition should be attuned with tracking and keeping a record of where we want to be and where we want to go.

Creativity is just connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they feel a little guilty because they didn’t really do it, they just saw something. It seemed obvious to them after a while. That’s because they were able to connect experiences they’ve had and synthesize new things. — Steve Jobs

Physically, the will to keep going is real. It’s the rise at the beginning of each day. We have to become addicted to the end goal while appreciating the journey and using that as our motivation to keep going. We can’t only live in our minds and in our imaginations. We need to physically be present and willing to put ourselves out there.

You only live once. But, if you do it right, once is enough!

Emotionally, we’re going to get hurt. We’re going to have highs and lows. This is the part in life most people aren’t prepared for because most people aren’t prepared to get knocked down on their asses. Heck, I wasn’t. But thinking back to some of my spectacular failures and mistakes, I now recognize that it’s how I’ve persevered emotionally that has mattered in the end.

It’s crazy. Getting knocked down is the best thing that can happen to you as long as you promise yourself you’ll get back up — and never give up.

What about you? Where are you going? Where have you been? What are you doing about it? I guarantee you you’ve made more progress than you think. How are you going to lock in those gains? How are you going to ensure that the imprint of your identity, which has been left on the lives of others, and your own, will continue to push on, even when setbacks, distractions, and adversity strikes?

Why would we ever do anything if we’re just going to forget why we did it? Remember where you are. Remember where you’ve been. Don’t ever think that the progress you’ve made on your journey has been in vain. You can always build off of the foundation you’ve created. These are your values. These are your wins and lessons learned. Use them to your advantage to propel yourself in the direction of the life you desire.

Feel free to ask any questions or share your ideas in the comment section below. Alternately, I’d really appreciate for you to share this content on your social media platform if you found it useful so that others can benefit from it too. If you have any doubts or want a personal clarification, send me an email on For more inspiration, fun, and smiles, follow me on Instagram

Happy Blogging! ♥♥♥

Thank you for reading. Love you for that! ♥

—–Have Hope. Keep Faith—–

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15 thoughts on “Forget Yourself To Find Yourself

  1. Q: What about you? Where are you going?
    A: I am going to live each day intentionally, going where God leads me, enjoying the journey with my husband, my best friend for 57 years.I am going to share my experiences with other bloggers and with folks I meet – sharing my love of the Lord and of life and of other people – and animals – and this creation called Earth. I am going to Heaven someday… but not too soon. I ain’t done going yet!
    Q: Where have you been?
    A: I have been living a life of blessings in California, Montana, and visits to our daughter and her family in SWITZERLAND (beautiful!) – with side trips to Alaska, Slovenia, Spain, Pennsylvania, etc. I have been enjoying the ride!
    Q: What are you doing about it?
    A: I am doing the best I can each day to live, love, laugh, share, and spread my faith, my joy, and my experiences with those I meet, and those who go to “JanBeek” to read – and I am going to continue to absorb, learn, meditate, pray, and rely on the Holy Spirit as my guide.
    Q: What about YOU? Where are YOU going? Where have YOU been? And what are YOU doing about it?

  2. I can relate to this on a deep level. I needed to read this today. “To move forward, you want to know where you’ve been, so you can get to your destination.” That is gold. Thank you!

  3. So true. Thanks for sharing. It is not easy to let go. Sometimes a situation asks for it though. Sometimes we are too close. Sometimes it is not the right circumstances, time or place. We all are stuck in this matrix (like a hamster in a wheel) but we have the ability to understand and to grow, while living. Another lesson learned, another step made – great to have come across your blog!

  4. Fantastic post and so spot on. I feel like this cycle keeps on happening throughout our lives. We fall away from our purpose and it’s almost as though the pendulum has to swing far enough away from our center to wake us up and realize we need to reassess, revisit our (evolving) passions, find new roots, work towards new aspirations and goals. Thank you as always for the inspiration!
    My Best Friend Adeline

  5. I think so many of us lose ourselves in our routine, our jobs, our families and our financial security that we forget to foster our passions. I know that for me, I’ve buried the urge to write and dance for so long, that I’ve become anxious and sad in my mundane routines. Thank you for posting this. I needed to read it.

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