“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs, and habits—anything that kept me small.” Kim McMillan
Writing a self-love affirmation is life changing.
But, lets start with what is self-love?
Many of us don’t know the answer to this question. The truth is, many of us never truly developed it, or it is not very strong. This can lead to destructive, harmful, and unhealthy ways we treat ourselves, including how we allow others to mistreat us. It wasn’t until I wrote a self-love affirmation that I started on a journey that helped me recover and heal my depression, and build a life centered on well-being and happiness. Anyone can write a self-love affirmation. Even if you think your self-love is good, it’s important to make sure to continue to build your self-love and keep it strong. Having strong self-love is the foundation for which the rest of your life and your happiness stands.
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What is Self-Love?
Self-love is…
· The belief you hold that you are a valuable and worthy person.
· Owning responsibility for making sure your needs are met, giving those needs a voice, and believing you have a legitimate right to those needs.
· Not giving your power away by allowing others to mistreat you – keeping your power and holding others accountable for treating you with dignity, value, and respect.
· Being honest about your current choices and thought patterns and undertaking new practices that reflect self-worth.
· Practicing acts of compassion and forgiveness for one’s self, believing in the intrinsic value of you.
In short, self-love is believing in your fundamental self-worth, as a lovable and quality person, who deserves to be happy.
Many of us find ourselves in unhealthy relationships, caught in cycles of
self-abuse, or struggling with finding happiness in our lives, unaware of how we got there, and more importantly, unsure of how to get onto a better life path. Building a strong foundation of self-love will help you create a better life, no matter what.
How Strong is Your Self-Love?
The important part about developing a strong sense of self-love is realizing that we may not have a strong one to be with. How can you tell? Do some examination of your life and consider your answer to some of these questions:
- Do I have relationships with people who are abusive to me, either emotionally or physically, or otherwise?
- Are my friends negative, critical, and judgmental of me and others?
- Do I constantly berate myself for being too stupid, too fat, too ugly, too boring, too whatever?
- Do I say nice things about myself or not?
- Do I congratulate myself and cheer myself on when I accomplish something or not?
- Do I reward myself for my achievements or not? Do I even acknowledge that I have achievements?
- Do I tell myself I am deserving of a good relationship with a loving partner? Or, do I tell myself I’m damaged goods and no one would want me?
- Do I engage in self-destructive habits or actions, such as substance abuse, overeating, or causing myself physical harm?
If the answers to some of these questions got you thinking that you don’t tend to treat yourself very well, you may want to ask yourself, “Why is that?” Our foundation for building a strong sense of self-love starts very early in our lives. If we don’t build a strong sense of self-love, then we are at risk of falling into bad habits, getting into relationships with harmful people, and engaging in unhealthy actions.
So, how does one begin to develop a strong foundation of self-love, or build the strength of the one we already have? I have found that writing a self-love affirmation can have a powerful impact on all areas of your life. By keeping this self-love affirmation in a sacred place and reading it frequently, daily, even, it helps cement our self-love firmly in our psyche, which can have tremendous and positive ramifications throughout our lives.
How do you Write a Self-Love Affirmation?
The mind is a creature of habit and it is also very impressionable. It will believe what you tell it. I had been telling myself all my life that I wasn’t worthy. I wasn’t loveable. I wasn’t this or that. So I had to re-program my mind. I did this by writing a self-love affirmation. To write a self-love affirmation, do the following:
Write a statement of affirmation on a post-it note that has two sentences:
1) A sentence that describes a few nice things about you
2) A statement that states your worthiness, value, deserve-ness of love, etc.
Both these sentences should start with the words “I am…”
Example:
1) I am beautiful, smart, and kind.
2) I am worthy of love.
Here’s what my affirmation said: I am beautiful, smart, and kind. I am worthy of love.
That’s it. It was short. It was simple. And it was earth shattering. I kept it in my jewelry box and every day I read it to myself. I read it over and over and over, until slowly it started to sink in. It started to take roots and then those roots started to grow more roots and anchor themselves. Then branches started to sprout and blossom. Soon, I had a full blooming tree with deep roots. Suddenly, I wasn’t willing to abuse myself with negative thoughts or allow others to treat me poorly. My life changed dramatically and for the better!
When you write your self-love affirmation, find a place to keep it. Make it a place where you will see it and read it frequently. This is an investment in you, and you are worth investing in you.
Feel free to ask any questions or share your ideas in the comment section below. Alternately, I’d really appreciate for you to share this content on your social media platform if you found it useful so that others can benefit from it too. If you have any doubts or want a personal clarification, send me an email on eclipsedwords@gmail.com. For more inspiration, fun, and smiles, follow me on Instagram
Happy Blogging! ♥♥♥
Thank you for reading. Love you for that! ♥
—–Have Hope. Keep Faith—–
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I love your message of self love. It has taken me a long time to love myself. It has changed my life. The psychological spiritual tool called the Enneagram has helped me to do this. I will write my own affirmation. Thank yoy Aishwarya!❤😊
Just what I needed at the exact moment! Thank you for these words of self love Aishwarya!!
Fab blog- thank you for this ❤️🙏
For it is the love of self that allows for the love of an another without the interference of others, very positive young lady.
Hi Aishwarya, Thanks for liking one of my previous blog posts and for sharing this post about writing self-love affirmations. I agree with you, self-love is so important and the more we affirm ourselves the more we begin to to believe in our own worth. Your words are very helpful. Have you ever read a book called Madly in Love with Me: The Daring Adventure of Becoming Your Own Best Friend by Christine Arylo? If not, I highly recommend it, as it expands upon your theme here. Reading it has helped me accept myself unconditionally. Namaste, friend. 🙏🏻💕
For it is the love of self that allows the love of an another without the interference from others, very positive young lady
Thank you for this post! 🤗
Please may I share this on my post?
Excellent post Aishwarya! Self-compassion is key, isn’t it. I use my bad habits as starting points for change rather than beating myself up with self-hatred! Thanks, Anita.
Great post. I think that many people over time create to have created by others a somewhat negative “self-love” view of themselves. When we can’t love ourself, we often find it a desperate challenge to love others as well.
Working on us first; loving ourself first, always pays dividends to those around us. Loving ourself means than we can show that love to others.
Thank you for sharing!
Without Self Love, we feed the egotistical ideal of trying to be that which we perceive others want us to be. This is how Self love gets confused with selfishness. It is only from a strong foundation of Self love that we can develop the courage to love others. There is somewhat of a key to be found here. Maybe it is the lack of Self love that drives the all the division so commonly seen today.
Really helpful
To no one: If you’re not healthy, you can’t be in my life. That’s a rule of mine. You can go get healthy and come back, but people can’t change people so you’ll have to go do it on your own. Great post!
Thank you for this article. Yes I agree, self-love is important, it is the earth from which trees can grow. I used to be like that as well, and still sometimes am but at leat now, instead of allowing myself to spin deeper into it, I regognize some pattern and I can act upon them 🙂