Why You Should Look Your Fears in the Eye and Smile.

FIRST THINGS FIRST —- I know it is a little late for wishes. Since I was in a severe road accident and couldn’t move for the past couple of weeks (i’m still healing but the good news is that i can resume to normal work now), here’s me finally wishing you all a happy and blessed 2020!

Let’s start 2020 with facing your deepest fears, shall we?

Fear (noun)—an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief or anticipation that someone or something is dangerous, a threat, or likely to cause pain.

What are you afraid of?

For some people it’s heights. For others it might be fear of illness or failure. For me it’s goats, water and time.

I know glancing at my list a few of you probably chuckle. But that’s the funny thing about fears; they rarely seem rational to anyone else. (One man’s tricycle is another man’s worst nightmare.) But these differences in our fears force us to ask, if not everyone is afraid of spiders, why do I fear this? And that, my friends, is the million-dollar question.

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Because despite the fact that Webster’s seems to imply our fears are undesirable or somehow harmful, I’d like to argue otherwise. Let me explain with an example.

I used to be afraid of going to the movie theaters alone. Not that I was nervous for my physical safety, but I feared that sitting in the theater as a party of one, I would get awkward side-glances (you know the ones) from fellow moviegoers or somehow enjoy the experience less. So I avoided it. At all costs. Until, for the umpteenth time, I had missed a movie I’d really wanted to see because I couldn’t find someone to go with me. I was tired of missing out on opportunities.

So I put on my biggest hoodie, chose the absolute latest showing and sat by myself (in the back) and cried like a blubbering baby through the entire Fault of Our Stars. And something magical happened. I loved it. I didn’t walk away feeling like I somehow had a “lesser” experience. No one heckled or threw popcorn because I didn’t have a friend by my side. And when the credits scrolled, an older woman, who was also by herself, tapped me on the shoulder to share her tissues with me. It was a beautiful moment, and even though this act of seeing a movie solo required no skill whatsoever, I remember walking back to my car with an odd sense of accomplishment. I’d faced my fear, however insignificant, and reclaimed any power it had over me.

Granted this example is on a very small and everyday level, but it’s easy to see how it can be applied to bigger ideas. Afraid of public speaking? If you didn’t confront this fear, you would never have the opportunity to share your ideas or contribute to making your business, city or environment a better place. For those afraid to fly, if they never meet and experience this fear, they’ll miss out on more than half of the world. You should be sensing a pattern here. For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction—facing your fears is what bridges the gap between you and your biggest opportunities.

If you’re not running into the things that scare you, you aren’t really living.

The next time you encounter something you’re afraid of, what if, instead, you thought of it as a good thing? Because essentially, if you’re not running into the things that scare you, you aren’t really living. Being afraid of something, if you can step back and look at it emotions aside, is the best indication that you are out there in the world, trying new things and living to your fullest. That is a huge accomplishment, whether you successfully “conquer” these fears or not!

People often shy away from the things that make them nervous, because unless you’re afraid of showering, it seems a little like masochism to force yourself to face unnecessary things that can make you so unhappy. But consistently avoiding things that make us uncomfortable leaves us standing still in a world that is constantly moving. It doesn’t keep us safe; it keeps us behind.

Like GPS, our fears are our mind’s way of letting us know that we are at the edge of our comfort zone. That quickening pulse, that voice in your mind questioning, are you sure you can do this? That’s the old you, not wanting to be lost as the new you ventures into unknown territory that might be dangerous. Change is both scary and exhilarating. But here’s a little secret from someone who’s faced a few fears and lived to tell the tale: Once you step outside of your safety net, that’s where the magic happens.

So pay attention to what gets your heart ticking. And whatever that thing is, chase after it. Because it’s true what they say, that “courage is not the absence of fear; it’s having fear, but pushing through it.” Although my one criticism with this quote is I feel it falls a little short of the point. You should chase after your fears because when your courageous act is complete, when you’ve pushed your deep-seated fears aside and chased after opportunity, in that moment you’ll truly be unstoppable.

Now let me ask you again, what are you afraid of?

Feel free to ask any follow-up questions or share your ideas in the comment section below. Alternately, I’d really appreciate for you to share this content on your social media platform if you found it useful so that others can benefit from it too. If you have any doubts or want a personal clarification, send me an email on eclipsedwords@gmail.com. For more inspiration, fun, and smiles, follow me on Instagram

Happy Blogging! ♥♥♥

Thank you for reading. Love you for that! ♥

—–Have Hope. Keep Faith—–

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12 thoughts on “Why You Should Look Your Fears in the Eye and Smile.

  1. Hope you are comfortable and not in too much pain from your accident.

    I have a great fear of heights and I have fear of large spiders and snakes.

    I am willing, if an opportunity arises to touch a small snake and then go from there.
    Heights I have tried in the padt, but made myself worse. But I want to give it a go again in a different way, when I get the opportunity.

    I have a fear of escalaters. But I will go up one. Its when I come down. The coming down will never go and I have tried to tackle this one on a weekly basis for months. I was doing quite well at one point, until I near fell. So I will give going down a miss.

    I can relate to going on your own at the cinema, as I used to have the same issue going to cafes on my own. But I love going to cafes on my own now after some years ago tackling that one and I will ocassionally go to one I have not been to before, just for that out of my comfort feeling zone.

    I have not been to the cinema for years. But if I went on my own, I would feel the same too. But knowing I can do cafes on my own, there’s no doubt I can tackle the cinema on my own too.

  2. Glad to hear you’re healing. So sorry you had to experience the accident and being laid up! I related to your fear of attending a movie alone … and your reason for the fear. Like you, I tackled and beat it! Getting used to my own lone company and liking it is a major accomplishment. Good for you!

  3. I went to a Moody Blues concert alone as a teen because I really loved that band but none of my buddies shared by enthusiasm. I didn’t just get looks. On the subway platform a group of gronks came near and one guy said, “This guy looks shady…” Well, I guess that was before the concert not at it, but I was wearing a nice “yuppie” ski jacket, etc etc.

    Why does our culture – yours and mine – fear and stigmatize solitude?


  4. Glad to hear you are healing–how life does have a way of teaching lessons! I was drawn in by your title as I am currently facing some fears that I hope will result in me finding magic “on the other side” of facing them. I have this strange and overwhelming anxiety about feeling full that has hindered my ability to be fully nourished, sometimes bringing me to scary health states. Unlike the majority of the population that desires to lose weight, I am constantly trying not to lose and it is a battle that most don’t understand. I am trying to step up and explore why this feeling is such a fear for me to the point where I would become so malnourished to avoid feeling it. Again, I’m inspired that there may be magic on the other side of facing this fear. thanks for writing on the topic!

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