“What would you tell your younger self?”
It’s a question I’ve reflected on many times and have asked many women. A common thread weaves through most of the answers:
Believe in yourself.
You can do more than you think.
Don’t let others define your worth.
Take the chance!
Do what you want.
Dare to be more ambitious.
Don’t settle!
Admittedly, I’m biased, but I believe we women are powerful beyond measure. We excel at multitasking. We are innately compassionate. We are natural bridge builders, peacemakers, and cheerleaders. We have nurturing hearts and can move mountains when we set our minds to it.
Yet too often, we sell ourselves short. Way short.
The voice of our inner critic rarely rests. It thrives on pointing out our flaws, focusing on our shortcomings, and dwelling on what we don’t have or haven’t done. It keeps forever striving, never arriving—waiting until “one day” when we finally have it “all together” before we can feel worthy or claim what we yearn for most.
Yet as Kirsten Neff wrote in her book Self-Compassion, “There is nothing to be gained for beating ourselves up for beating ourselves up.” Rather, what serves us is taking a fresh look at where we are unconsciously allowing this well-worn habit of dwelling on what we perceive is missing in us and around us to keep us from taking the very actions that would connect us to our innate sufficiency, and from truly knowing that we are enough already. Always have been; always will be.
No one is born with an immunity to self-doubt or fear of failure. Each of us has the ability to reclaim the power it can hold in our lives.
You are no exception.
You do that by refusing to let the voice of your inner critic dictate your decisions or limit your action. After all, when you buy into your doubts, it amplifies your anxiety about your current challenges and chips away at your confidence to take on new ones. In the process, you miss out on sharpening your talents, and the world misses out on the gifts they hold.
So how do you conquer the doubts and find the courage to live the biggest life you are capable of living?
You stop talking yourself down and start embracing the “flawsome” woman that you already are—fabulous and fallible, brilliant and blundering, innately lovable and wholly imperfect—all at the same time.
You stop letting self-doubt call the shots and start acting with the confidence you wish you had.
You stop dwelling about what you don’t have and start making the most of what you’ve got. (Which is plenty!)
You stop punishing yourself for past mistakes and start applying their lessons to live more deeply and choose more wisely.
You stop thinking about what you’d like to say and start having the brave conversations you’ve been putting off.
You stop saying yes to keep people happy and you start saying no to anything that doesn’t align with the boldest vision for your life.
You stop waiting for permission or perfection and start putting yourself out there, ready to fail forward and forge a bigger life rich in meaning, connection and contribution.
Because here’s the deal: The only way you can become the woman you most want to is by start acting like you are that woman already.
Strong. Brave. Resilient. Persistent. Worthy. Bold. Creative. Focused. Trustworthy. Compassionate. Respected. Valued. Influential. Unstoppable.
E-N-O-U-G-H.
Now before you start second-guessing yourself (that path has a well-worn groove in your brain!), don’t think you need to know precisely what you are doing or exactly where you are going before you take the first step.
As I discovered, you just have to have faith in yourself that you’ll figure it out as you go along. Be kinder to yourself when you slip up. (Because chances are, that will be often!)
So if you decided right now to “own your enoughness” and to live from the belief that you are capable of more than you’ve given yourself credit for…
What inspiring goals would you take on (however audacious)?
What changes would you make (however hard)?
What chances would you take (however scary)?
Just for today, I challenge you to trust that you have all the resources you need within you to do whatever tugs most at your heart and to take one step (though two is also OK) in that direction.
Then tomorrow, repeat.
If you could time travel ahead 20 years from now, I’ll bet your older self would be whispering in your ear, “Go on, be bold. Take the chance. Trust yourself. You’ve got this!”
Because you know what… you have!
And you know what else? This world needs more women to own their power, embrace their difference and to dare to make their boldest mark on the world like never before.
So get to it!
Happy International Women’s Day To Everyone!
Feel free to ask any questions or share your ideas in the comment section below. Alternately, I’d really appreciate for you to share this content on your social media platform if you found it useful so that others can benefit from it too. If you have any doubts or want a personal clarification, send me an email on eclipsedwords@gmail.com. For more inspiration, fun, and smiles, follow me on Instagram
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Thank you for reading. Love you for that! ♥
—–Have Hope. Keep Faith—–
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ECLIPSEDWORDS BY AISHWARYA SHAH | MARCH’2019 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ©
let go because paradise seems closer
Happy Women’s Day, Aishwarya!
Beautiful! Thanks for posting!
I think one of the major reasons we sell ourselves short is that we think in a way too detailed fashion. Then, we see all the things that seem wrong and these override the good sides.
Happy women’s day ❣️
I’m inspired! Thank you for your thoughts. Sometimes I think the blustering arrogance of men is what can make some of them so damn productive and less depressed. Not that I want to be arrogant.. but I tend to self-deprecate so much that tipping a little bit in the other direction can’t hurt. 😉 Thank you for the post!
I reposted to FB… this is a great post. I especially appreciated your reminder to us all… “Embrace the fabulous and fallible, brilliant and blundering, innately lovable and wholly imperfect [person] that you are.” Yes, doesn’t that describe us all?
Nice post.
Heck Yeah!!! Woman Power, Baby!!!
Awesome post! You stop talking yourself down and start embracing the “flawsome” woman that you already are—fabulous and fallible, brilliant and blundering, innately lovable and wholly imperfect—all at the same time. Happy Women’s Day!
I love this x
First, I want to say, Your art is stunning! I am 68 years old and if I could say one thing to my younger self, it would be this: Do your best to please God and follow his commands everyday, and you will save yourself a lot of pain. Blessings, Aishwarya!
Beautiful! ❤
Such a beautiful post! Thankyou ❤️
My moral is high. This post is not meant for women alone, also men can benefit from it. Thank you.🙂
I agree with your perspective and I also agree the world has a lot of growing up to do. I think a big part of it comes from how one was raised. I was brought up in an environment where men and women were equal, and so it should be.
Reblogging this to my readers at sister site Timeless Wisdoms
Words that inspired the birth of this poem I dedicate to you:
Imagine That!
Let me hit you with some facts?
I’m gone lay it all out right now,
Explaining the message and How!
Communications is the key to all success,
Including listening to yourself and other people less?
I know that last line is easier said than done,
Imagine That, at least try it once just for fun!
You see the sky is the limit when you use Imagination,
Chillax be creative and bump the frustration!
Open your mind and expand your horizons,
Give it a shot you won’t loose by just trying!
It’s your Imagination put it to the test,
Hey you may find out it’s the key to your success!
The Artiste Imagine
What a great Post thank you. You have inspired me to write a letter to my younger self too!
The one point that stands out for me is …
“The only way you can become the woman you most want to is by start acting like you are that woman already.”
Such a poignant and strong comment.
What I would tell my younger self? “You’re going through this to understand what to see through in the future and have a nonsense detector for the things ahead.”
Happy Women’s Day 💖
https://wp.me/pa7yfl-4r Here’s my latest post. Please give it a read 💜
At 53, I would tell my younger self to play more and work less. Some of the people for which I “killed” myself in my 20s and 30s don’t even remember me today–although I remember them.
You said it, sister! Don’t worry, though. I did my best to play as much as I could. I knew youth was not going to last forever. ❤
Very inspiring post. I loved reading it.
Well said!! 👏
This is an amazing launching pad 4 us All…. Thank u very much!!! Some of these lines are going on my mirror of inspiration so I can view it everyday!!!
What an amazing piece of art.
Thank you. I think I needed to hear/read this today.
I just love the way you write! This article was so very inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing it with all of us.
Joan Senio
My Best Friend Adeline
https://kindness-compassion-and-coaching.com
I really enjoy your blog and have listed it on my blog as one that I follow. If you get a chance could you please go and take a peek. Getting started is really difficult and could use your input. Hope you had a very Merry Christmas and have a Happy and Prosperous New Year!